I struggled when I search for meaning outside of whats happening. It is all life, I’ll never arrive, and when I forget that a host of, usually, negative emotions (self created due to the paradigm I constructed) become present. My particular path is learning to enjoy all of it as I do not see another way to get satisfaction out of life. When I believe that once I get a particular object and ‘then I’ll be happy’ or ‘then I can rest’ is only a deceit that I use to fool myself. In the past I was unaware of such trickery. I know all things will not create the same feelings and emotions but this is a great source of joy as I can experience them fulling without wishing I was someplace else; I can strive, journey and accomplish all in a non striving manner, a striving manner that flows, a striving manner that is fluid.
When I see the obversion arriving I must reorientate myself to truth, which is, ‘there is no where to go and there is nothing to do.’