Something just happened for which I feel exceptionally guilty about, so much so I wish I could just hide myself away and not have to face realty. I don’t write about things like this typically but I feel so guilty I’m not sure what else to do. So here it is…
I had a return item at home depot and I had my son and our dog with us. My son had his “magic wand” and was having me do various things like freezing my head so I was sort of rapped up in the moment with that. Then we parked at Home Depot and I was just thinking about going in and out and had a massive brain fart.
Maybe this is me making an excuse but I don’t think so. I’m trying to figure out why I did what I did. I accept full responsibility for my mistake and I’m not trying to go around it, just trying understand where the mind goes at times and how to be aware enough to overcome this human shortcoming.
I left my dog in the car and I didn’t even roll down the windows, and I don’t know why. I always take him in with us to the store. But some guy was there when I came out and blasted me for it, and to that I say good for him because I derived it. I’m glad he did this and I wish there were more people like him, standing up for what’s right. Maybe, for me, he went on a little too long but I got the point loud and clear: I am/was that guy. At this point I’m not sure what else to do. Maybe just sit here, continue to meditate on the issue and let it affect me.
Perhaps some slight irony but as I was driving home I starting thinking about the idea in my last blog, the one right before this one. I mentioned about doing a stupid act in a moment that’s typically out of character and then being judged in that moment by someone that doesn’t know you, in this case me.
I thought, “I wonder if the guy will go to facebook and talk about how the world is so fucked up and people like me are the problem with society”. First of all I know I am what’s wrong with the world and I might have even blogged about it, and if I didn’t it’s my title to my twitter profile. So then who are the “bad people”? Do they exist? By exist I mean the way in which the mind categorized “the enemy”, “the bad people”, or “the other”. To him I will likely be that face.
Here is the link to the blog I mentioned. It’s sort of a part two : Good and bad and morality is sadly in the eyes of the beholder