Beclouded

I lick my finger and hold it up
Ahhh, there you are wind!
Today you blow north
Tomorrow you blow south
If on the third day you blow west are you still the wind?

This is who I am
This is who I’m not
Which is me and which is not?

Boarders, barriers encompass the mind
this is real and this is not

Thought and not though
are both not equally invested?

I used to know
Now no longer not

What’s Important?

One day Joe was walking down the street and he noticed a nice little dinner. He wondered why he’d never noticed this quaint little place before. The dinner was crowed with a splendid vibe but not overly crowded. He noticed they had many of his favorite meals on the menu, including ice cream!

Joe walked up to the entrance and grabbed the cold silver door handle and tugged the door open. The dinner was teaming with people and the fragrance of coffee and bacon peppered the air. The clamoring of dishes could be heard coming from the kitchen and many conversation filled the air. The kitch design made the place feel hip and all the energy made it feel alive. “This must be the place”, Joe speculated.

He stopped at the host stand to grab a seat and briefly flirted with the cute hostess before she brought him to his seat. As he sat pondering over the menu he heard the cacophony of all those around him. As he sat there, trying to look over the menu, he began to realize he couldn’t hear what anyone was saying. All he heard was noise, that couldn’t be made clear. For a moment he wondered if a different language was being spoken but as he intently listened he knew that wasn’t it.

As he lifted his gaze from the menu to those in the place he quickly realized he couldn’t see well either. “What in the hell? Well, maybe my blood sugar level is low and I just need something to eat”, he thought. Somehow he flagged down his waiter and ordered. His order arrived and he ate, and the food was absolutely amazing. It was the tastiest food; as a matter of fact, it would have probably been the best meal he ever had if it weren’t for his hearing and vision problems.

The following day Joe went to see the doctor and explained his problem. The doctor did the whole doctor exam thing that doctors do. However, he didn’t find anything wrong and sent him on his way with a clean bill of health.

Out of curiosity, Joe returned to the restaurant following the exam but the same thing occurred! His vision was blurred and he couldn’t hear anything! He thought: Seriously, what the heck is going on with me?”

Totally frustrated Joe sought alternative help. Years came and went to no avail; nobody was able to fix his problem. He continued to yearn to see and hear the people of the dinner.

One evening while at the dinner Joe finally had it. He ripped the hearing aids from his ears and tore off his glasses and smashed them. Bewildered and in despair he sat there with his face in his hands. Almost like magic Joe could hear the people around him. Ever so slowly he lifted his face from his hands. He could see too! He flagged his waiter down with great exuberance and ordered his meal.

As he ate all the noise and people of the restaurant quickly faded away and he enjoyed his meal.

Emotional spasm

1) Placing inordinate emphasis on the most trivial matters by reacting to shallow momentary emotional spasms are not the best grounds for developing any sort of deeper fulfillment in life and leads one to continual momentary dissatisfaction.

2) I say explore life’s deeper values and exercise the governance (not blind governance) of all deeper values in ones life while rejecting the shallow emotional reactions. Just the starting point to any sort of meaningful life: practice.

3) Balance and moderation in all things is an art: habit.

Them you or me

Take away intent, meaning or point
You take away a mans (woman or zers)
Meaning to be.
It’s the over complication
Of life
To be more than it has or needs to be
For if we look deeply
We see the person that is in front of me
Them, you or me needs to be
The person we set out to be
What’s next?
Nothing but me
What does this even mean?
Can we even comprehend
If we cannot see ourselves honestly?
Unfortunately this is where the disconnect
Between them, you and me is what I see
We miss the unity
Because once I know and understand the person in the mirror
Nothing but a brother stands in the world I see
And there is only unity
Symbolic gestures are part of who we are
But more deeply it is what lies in a persons heart.

I am not a poet, as you can see, nor am I even good at writing poems. I usually right whats on my mind as a way of helping me articulate and deepen my thinking and thought process. The above is sort of in response to some things I have noticed and the best way I know how to point as what I think is a root problem in our country is.

I would describe myself as a classical liberal (look up what this means because it is totally different than the modern term liberal) and I emphasize duty and personal responsibility. I have come to this point of view through meditative practices (understanding my minds conditions) and the studying of various schools of philosophical thought as well as a belief in the scientific method.

Individualism: The Me Paradigm

Has the value we’ve place on individualism actually made us less happy and view the world with more contempt?

Has this value actually made us more isolated and brought forth a bounty of depression, anxiety and suicides?

Has this value divided our relationships, our family and our communities?

Has this value been a contributor to all the polarization that we’ve been seeing in our country?

His this value made us indifferent to those around us because it is all about me, the individual? “Fuck you! Do you know what you did to me?”

Has this value caused us to place excessive emphasis on feelings/our own feelings?

Has this value eroded other values such as free speech?

Is it this value that has been caused the breakdown of the more wholesome societal  norms?

Is it even ok for me to even question such a thing without being branded and labeled as some sort of collective extremist?

The wedding 

This post is not rich in philosophical content or ideas. I believe it is a pretty typical thought process and nothing too noteworthy. However, I believe that it is important to continually define and redefine basic ideas and concepts that I hold. I see things in my life as continually changing and what I struggled with about these questions a few years ago is totally different than what I struggle with today.
As I drive home from Wisconsin to Florida after a fun (my definition of fun below) filled weekend. I reflect upon it and the importance of it in my life. Where and how should I place it?

A very light definition of how I am to finding fun and enjoy ability in context of this post.

What do I mean by fun? Are fun and enjoyable the same? For me when something is fun it falls into a goofing around category in which the cares of life I relinquish. Something the  enjoyable doesn’t quite peak the arousal scale quite as high as something that is fun but it’s a more steady state.

What does it mean to be happy? Is happiness a life lived of virtues? A life lived by principles that supersedes more primitive desires? Is it having fun and doing everything that I please? It almost seems like doing something fun would bring lasting happiness because one is always having fun. But for me this is not been the case. I am prone to panic attacks and because of this I am slightly more sensitive to my inner mental states. Usually after having too much fun I become upset with my behavior. On the other hand, the act of devoting to virtues, letting go of attachments, and living a more principle centered life leaves me more content inside. Life is less fun but more enjoyable. The downside to sacrifice is that I get bored. It’s almost paradoxical because I work on letting go of my attachments but I get bored. What am I still grasping at? What do still have attachment to?

How much balance should I have in my life? How much fun should I allow myself to have? Know thy self. It is a struggle for me because I know the importance of living a virtuous life on an individual, family, community and societal levels and the downfall of societies because of lack of virtues. I most certainly have noticed a huge shift in my behavior, my actions and my thought process which has shifted my perspective, or paradigm, about having fun and the enjoyability of life.

Where do I go from here? I guess nowhere really. I will continue on the path or the Journey of life. Hoping new insights and answers are revealed as I work and play with life.